Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Celebrity Rehab

I like to think of myself as an athlete. Someone who really puts in long hours of intense training to increase maximum performance on the field. In reality I have no athletic prowess whatsoever...yet I still manage to inflict bodily harm on myself. I'm currently in South Africa because I can't seem to walk or function correctly, and now I'm here to learn. What did you always tell me Dad? Shoulders back? Stand up straight? Walk like a 'woman'? I don't know...anyway! No worries, I just need some physical therapy and then I'll be back on my way to TZ. I had my first session today where I struggled to keep myself up on a small inflated ball. It probably didn't help that I laughed through the session. It was good though and I definitely think it's going to help.

I think they should do a show about me though. I mean, I basically have Rock Star status in my village...and I AM in rehab now. It could be a hit. It'd be no 'Breaking Bonaduce' but I think I'd at least have a bigger audience than 'Hogan Knows Best'.

South Africa is pretty amazing; a mini-America really. Malls, movies, coffee shops....A KFC!!! WHAT?!?! I'm not suggesting that anyone intentionally harm his or herself...but one should not be too disappointed if they need to come down here for some reason.

So I've been hanging out, eating amazing food, checking facebook way too much and developing a habit of bathing here that is borderline OCD. Things are great!

I hear there's a lion park and a cheetah park where you can pet baby animals, so I think I'll look into that. Don't worry mom, I won't get my arm eaten off. I mean, at least not intentionally.

Well, if anyone is looking for a little vacation right now you are more than welcome to come to South Africa and hang out with me! We'll feed baby lions, swim in the pool, and maybe scalp some tickets to the World Cup. Just think about it...